On Fingering, Roadies and MUMBAI !

Got nothing really to write about. Thought of a funny incident which happened this semester so posted about it. And after a long time, posting a Dad Joke :)

The Nobody (That is the nobody in my batch who tries to be a yo che dude): "Abbe suno, pata hai aaj kya hua ??"

We (with an expression that we couldn't care less if Obama came to our college to give a guest lecture): Uhuh?

The Nobody: (in the typical India TV sansani khabar tone): Pata hai, X ne Y ko finger dikhaya???????????

We (indifferent as ever. I think it's in the blood of lawyers to be indifferent to everything that happens which doesn't involve sex, money, internships, and c.g.p.a- not necessarily in that order): Uhuh... (Read: Buzz off!!)

Nobody: (determined to make an impact) WO BHI MIDDLE WALA !!!

We: (too stunned to respond)
It was on the tip of my tongue to tell him, "OMG! And there I was thinking he showed him the little finger and went off to do susu...."


Dad Joke:

I was watching the endless repeats of Roadies 6 when Dad entered the room. He looked at Bobby and Palak wrestling, kicking and pulling each other's hair. I looked innocently back at Dad, who in turn gave me a 'you useless fellow' look. I can't help it. My semester break coincides with MTV telecasting Roadies all day and I'm forced to watch MTV since Miley Jab Hum Tum has finally become boring. I continued watching, pretending I didn't catch the dirty look thrown at me.

Dad coughed and dryly remarked, "Is it Roadies you are watching or Rowdies?"

Mom sniggered from the kitchen and I continued watching, pretending I didn't hear that.

Thanks Akansha for the shower of awards :D
Am off to Mumbai for my internship. Hoping to have some fun at least at the end of the year. Will keep you posted.

That Environ-MENTAL law paper !!

No, no, I didn’t pass away after falling down from an escalator or something. It’s been long since I posted, but here I am….

4 exams down, and 2 more to go. Screwed up 2 exams, and 2 were decent, in case you care. Had Environmental Law exam today. It’s been 7 semesters since me and Harini are giving exams and it’s always been the same story. In 3rd semester, before a criminal law paper, from 11 pm to 7 am we chatted about Shahid-Kareena’s breakup. In 4th semester, we had an exclusive men bashing session, with an email forward I received called '99 things you need to know about men’ for reference.

But we outdid ourselves today. Who discusses about ants 15 minutes before the exam? A 60 marks paper, with at least a dozen Acts to remember, a zillion cases to remember. And we are laughing before the paper when the guys who are always out of the class and the chilled out ones were studying seriously as if its doomsday.



Segment 1:
So we were studying in Harini’s room and I casually flicked an ant off the wall. This is when it all started. Harini looks at the ant with pity and says, “What a life it has. No exams. No boy to irritate her. No tension at all”. (Yup, we assumed it’s a female because it’s a girls hostel I guess)
Me: “But poor thing, she climbed all the way up the wall and I just flicked her off. How many times does she climb up like this on her thin legs?”
Thus, we discussed the pros and cons of being an ant.


Segment 2:
Harini: “The course is never ending!! You know Ravana?”
Me: giving wtf look to her.
Harini: “Oh of course, you know Ravana.
Me: wtf look continues.
Harini: So when Ram killed Ravana, they went back to Ayodhya naa?
Me: wtf look continues since I’m clueless as to where this is heading to. From Wildlife Protection Act to Ravana?
Harini: So they went on this vahana where one seat would increase despite the number of people who climbed on the vahana.
Me: Uhuh…
Harini: (beaming with joy) So our course is like the vahana !! Keeps increasing like that one seat !!
Me: rofl for the next 20 minutes.

Segment 3:
Scene: Outside our respective classrooms, 15 minutes before the exam. Harini had her bunch of 4 months worth of xeroxed notes in her arms and I was trying to balance my bunch of notes.
Harini suddenly looks on the wall and puts her fingers and imitates an ant walking on that wall. We discussed during those 15 minutes whatever we had discussed the night before and shamelessly laughed at the fact that we were discussing the stupid discussion again.

We came out of the exam, beaming, not because the exam was over.
Harini: So, how was it?
Me: Ahh….
Harini: Yeah, same. Anyway, I have thought of the perfect dress I’m going to buy for my sister’s wedding.
(Notice the conversation regarding the exam doesn’t last for more than 10 seconds)
Me: When is it? It’s not until next year end, right?
Harini: Yeah…
Me: Let’s shop for bags when we intern this time, ok?
And we don't bother discussing the paper or thinking bout the next paper at all.

Is it the drastic effect of 7 semesters and 40 end semester examinations that we have undergone which has made us like this?

P.s- Would you believe me if I said that the paper actually was decent for both of us?

Escalaphobia che.

Normal people have phobias for lizards (there, you shivered when you read the word itself !!) or spiders (that small thing??) or heights (and here I'm scared I won't get a tall guy :P)

But I have to be different from the rest of the world.
I suffer from this phobia called Escalaphobia. The fear of escalators.



Why? Why? Why do they exist? Man built stairs, man built elevators. but the jerk wasn't satisfied and he made the you-know-whats too.

Here's a dedication to the E things.

You are ugly, you are cunning, a big cheat,
Your teeth, they wanna bite,
And snap off, when I step my feet,
You claim you fly as fast as a kite.

You make me unsteady,
You make my heart stop beating,
You laugh like a maniac, bloody,
And keep the pace jumping.

People appreciate you for saving their time,
They do not understand the terror I undergo,
You save their energy, when they are past their prime,
You have made my life in malls a big blow.

The liftmen laugh at me when I stand before,
Shivering, knees giving way, I tremble,
You mean escalator, you laugh, you ridicule, you roar,
As I make my way to the elevator or stairs, all humble.

My other phobia is Cynophobia i.e. fear of dogs. But I can still manage by shivering, abusing and walking past the poor dog, which incidentally, only bites when it is moody because of which the bitten has to receive only 14 injections. For clarifications, I have not been bitten (YET! Touch wood)

About Embarassing and Self Suiciding.

The best part about any college life has to be the friends that one makes during college. Bunking classes and catching a movie, trying to catch the attention of the opposite sex (and lately, same sex too :O), playing tic tac toe in class, suddenly getting the urge to count the number of stars with your friend before an all important exam...The list is endless :D

There is this one friend who everyone must be having in his/her life. Also known as the embarassing friend. No no, not that you are embarassed to be his/her friend. Just that he/she ends up embarassing you...always!



I have one such friend and this post is dedicated to her.

1) Me (in a whisper): "Pssst. Don't take names. But the guy, I was telling you about. The one who looks like a girl. Yeah, the so called boy called Rajesh. He's right behind you.Turn subtlely and look at him, ok!!"

Embarasser(hysterical with happiness of finally getting to see him, like he is a Tom Cruise or something!!): "What?? Rajesh is behind? But where? Oh, behind me? But where is Rajesh?"

Rajesh has been giving both of us stony looks for the rest of our college lives since that (un)fateful day.


2) Embarasser (in full of her bitchy josh): Haha you know what? Sandeep and Sheena were totally making out in the classroom. I just saw them. Can you imagine, what Sheena's ex would go through if he had seen that?" (laughing like there is no tomorrow)

Me: (trying to tell her Mr.Ex is right behind us)

Embarasser: Hai? What? Arre laugh naa! I hope he goes there now. (sniggering)

Mr. Ex passes by and clears his throat to make his presence felt and embarasser's laugh dies in her mouth.

In one class, our sir asked us a basic question, who's answer we HAD to know, but surprisingly all of us were stoned that day and no one bothered to give an answer. Sir got pissed and went like, "How can you people not know this? I should commit self- suicide!!" LOL. I like sirs who make such sad jokes and entertain the class!

This semester has been very hectic since the examination system has been changed totally. So I'll be posting less and will read you guys when I have time.

Btw, I've been interviewed by Pakistani Spectator. If you value your life, read it and comment!!!

Link is:
http://www.pakspectator.com/interview-with-blogger-madhuri-rahul-dravid/

Realization.

It's only after something really drastic happens that you realize who is important in your life and in who's life you are actually important.

It's been 14 days since my grandfather passed away and I admit I'm still not over it. I don't think anyone in my family is over it too. Fortunately, I haven't been avoiding studies or messing up my college activities because of the mourning. Studying helped in distracting me. At least my C.G.P.A might finally increase.

What really hurt was the behaviour of the people around me. People who I considered as my close friends, who I thought knew me in and out, didn't actually know Madhuri Iyer. It hurt when outsiders found my grandfather's death funny and made some crude remarks.I have a policy in my Sense of Humour Act, 2009 that jokes on funerals are strictly prohibited. People haven't seen me like this and yeah it's depressing to be depressing and see depressing faces around always, I understand.But it hurts double when your own people don't understand what you are feeling and don't bother.



But what pisses me off is that it's perfectly alright if people crib about their problems which are like, nothing in front of death. Boy problems and rubbish is more important, it seems. I'm not expecting sympathy and any talk that "Hey, look up there, grandpa is watching you, don't cry". I'm just expecting some sensible moments of peace around me. I lost someone, and I'm not asking everyone around me to tell me to cheer up or some crap. But they expect their problems to be more severe than this. There has been not a single soul to whom I can openly crib, be upset over and share what I'm actually feeling.

It's all about adjusting. All my life I've adjusted to all my friends, family etc. My ego had to be crushed in the mud to meet the demands of others. And whenever there's a fight, it's me who has to apologize even if it's not my fault. Whenever I want to do something or go somewhere, it never happens. If I'm not well, it's perfectly okay. If others aren't well, I have to pamper and be all nice to them. Still, I'm termed selfish. I'm termed bitchy. And this is despite me adjusting to others always. I do listen to others when they are sad, rude, pissed, happy any damn emotion. So why isn't anyone around when I need them? Doesn't sacrificing everything mean friendship? I have as big an ego as others have. But I can't ever be egoistic and avoid my friends just because we have fought or don't bother when my friend is sad. Now it seems I never had any self-esteem. I force myself to change, I tell myself to be strong and be cold to others when they are cold to me, but I just can't do it.

When will the time come when I get to do something which I want and which makes me feel happy? When will the time come when someone understands how I'm feeling without me telling them? I'm not asking for a boyfriend. I'm just asking for a friend who knows me inside out and is with me always to share my happiness as well as sorrow?

P.S- I'm not hinting at school/college/blogger friends over here. As for whom I'm hinting at, it's none of your business.
I know, it's a long post. Let me crib at least on my blog space.

Gone.

It's ironical that my last post was titled 'Wake up Mads' where I cribbed about needing a Wake up call to get on with my life, and something did happened to wake me up. My grandfather passed away on 23rd August. Yes, he was 86 years young, but still he didn't really have any health problems; it was unexpected. He behaved like a teenager, his latest crush being Deepika Padukone (Why? Why? What did I do to that female in my last birth that she is being all mean to me this time around? First she steals my Dhoni, then my Ranbir, then my grandpa too!!! :O)

My grandpa got up at 5 in the morning to see whether Obama became the President of USA or not. He felt sorry for each and every beggar on the street and gave them money. He fed cows in the mornings on the way for his morning walks. He ate, drank, slept sports. Something which he forced into me, and I am forever indebted to him for that. He taught me and my sis to play badminton. He spoilt me like crazy since I'm the youngest grandkid. He used to predict the results of cricket matches, politics etc. (He predicted on the day of the finals that India would win by 5 runs :O) He felt sorry for each and every poor man. I mean he was real. No fakeness. So benevolent in such times where everyone is cruel in some way or the other.
He used to watch AXN and switch channels when we kids entered the room. Me and my sis used to call my grandparents up every Sunday and my grandpa used to ask us general knowledge questions and ask stupid jokes like: Q. How will you stir tea, with your right hand or left hand? A. With a spoon :P



Astonished me by using the word sexy once :O He used to comb my hair when I was small and my grandmom used to tie it with a rubber band; only to discover that both the ponies were lopsided :P
I went to their apartments in Chennai (my grandmom's health is not okay and she can't live alone in their place now so she lives with my aunt) for the last time before it was cleared out, right after the funeral. I found out all the questions he had written down neatly and carefully for us along with some jokes (one was about a bald man and in brackets, he had written 'takla'...Lol :D) He had preserved all the pics of us grandkids so carefully.

This post is never going to end. My grandmom and he taught us grandkids (my cousins, my sis and me) so much that whatever 4 of us are today, it's only because of them. We were/are closer to them than our how close we are to our own parents.

Losing someone who brought me and my cousins up is not at all easy. Life's changed after that dreadful Ganesh Chaturthi (at least my grandpa went away on a festival which belonged to his favourite God :D) For obvious reasons, I have not been able to read your blogs. Will get back whenever I can.

Wake up Mads !!

Happy Independance Day :D

Wake up Mads should have been the title of the movie, instead of Wake up Sid and they should have cast me and not Ranbir Kapoor.



Ask why?


Because:

1. I'm lazy.
2. I'm childish and I refuse to grow up.
3. My grades suck and I have no goal in life.
4. Like Sid Mehra (Ranbir's role in the movie, for those who are away from civilization, i.e. live in a hostel) cannot live without his camera, car , his friends and his X-box 360. I cannot live without my cellphone, computer, music, friends :D

But I LIKE it this way. I don't feel guilty when I have spent the day lazying around. I feel great when I play kabaddi with the ants running on the floor, blocking their way. I like switching channels on T.V every 5 minutes. I like clearing my hostel room and messing it all over again. I love listening to the same song for 20 times in a row. I love to work on my projects or study for a test just on the last minute. I love life the way it is. Without any aim. Without any goal. It's just cool che. Wasting time, enjoying in college. Even studying seems fun when I do it in the last minute.

I like this nonsensical post which is heading nowhere.

I like being 20, having 1 and a half year to graduate, and still not bothering to work and raise my C.G.P.A. I like going to the High Court and imaging myself as a lawyer there, after I graduate. I like to day dream that I'll become a journalist and write saaaxee articles and be phamous. I would love to start my own advertising agency.

A few concerned people lately have told me to grow up, to study, to become serious in life etc. etc. I am myself concerned about my future but nothing is moving in this little brain of mine.

I am like this.

P.S- Whoever thinks England is going to smack Aussie ass(h)es, repeat after me, Aussies suck :D